I went to Mom's last Thursday to take her to her Dr. appointments. The doctor who did her surgery didn't seem to register her complaint about bad pain in her shoulder. On Friday we saw the oncologist. She didn't have good news for us. We're being referred to another oncologist in St. Louis. That will be easier for me since I won't have to travel so much though. But, the oncologist did take Mom's shoulder pain seriously and had her scanned in the office. Long story short, my Mom is in the hospital for a few more days getting doses of antibiotics to kill the abscesses that came from her surgery. Those abscesses could have killed her and I'm so glad that at least one of the doctor's was paying attention.
I'm home again with the kiddos for a few days. I hated to leave Mom in the hospital but I really needed to come home for a few days before I go back again. My kid need some normalcy and I can't do anything for her in the hospital. Plus, I cannot stand being at my Mom's house when she's not there. I love my brothers dearly but for all intents and purposes they live with my Mom (they have their own houses, don't ask). And one of my brothers is a huge slob with two nasty little dogs that literally urinate all over my Mom's house. He takes them on the road with him when he's he's got a load to haul but I just did not want to stay there with my kids in that mess. I love him but I got enough of cleaning up after him when I lived at home. I got my Mom's bedroom ready and all her clothes washed and put away for when she comes home.
Also, understandably my Mother's outlook on life has turned more than a little sour. But, she's so angry and snappish that I almost don't recognize her. I love her but it's hard for me to be around her for long stretches of time because she's so hateful. She apologizes afterwards but I keep wondering where my sweet Mom went. I feel like I've already lost her.
That's enough for today.
1 comment:
I'm so sorry you are going through this. My mom is a survivor of lymphoma after being told that she'd have about 5 years at best. That was about 20 years ago. Cancer is a horrible disease and the not knowing is sometimes the worst. I know that one thing that she tells others about is a hotline that was founded by the "R" of H and R Bloch who also survived cancer. I found the website here www.blochcancer.org and it might be helpful. She talked to someone there years ago and basically they would connect you with someone who had survived the same kind of cancer that you were fighting. It was totally free and was just really uplifting and helpful to hear from someone who was alive after fighting the exact same cancer.
Attitude is everything and maybe it would help your mom to hear from someone else who walked in her shoes and survived too. She can do this!!! And remember to take care of yourself in this time. Be her advocate, her shoulder to cry on and her scared daughter and also take time to enjoy life and be happy and laugh. It is all part of this journey that you are all on.
Prayers for you all,
Heather
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