Friday, April 27, 2012

What's For Dinner: One Pot Mac N Cheese With Mix Ins

It's nothing revolutionary. But, I'm battling falling onto a deep depression and anything I can do to keep my family going and my feet moving forward is a win for me. Dinner- One box of Kraft Mac and Cheese .69 Two cups of fresh brocolli .33 Half a box of Morning Star "meat"balls 1.25 A third of a fresh tomato- diced .20 Margarine and skim milk .35 Total- $1.82 I also made a sort of bread pudding from free farm eggs, old bread, pretzels and cookies.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Exhausted, Sad and Lost is No Way To Go Through Life Son

Mom passed early this morning. I feel very strange and exhausted.

Her last few days were awful. I am relieved that it's over. But, now the hard part of learning how to live without my Mom or any parents for that matter is scary. A strange part of me feels like now that we've gone through this awfulness my Mom can come back and be whole again. Like when you do a hard chore and get to reap the benefits. But sometimes things are just awful and they stay awful. Oh, I know she's looking down on me from heaven and is at peace but its not the same as having her here.

Learning how to live without my Mom is going to be a daily challenge. And I am just so tired right now.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

In The Middle Of The Long Goodbye

Mom is rapidly nearing the end. I have brought her to my house for hospice care. I am holding it together so well that I fear I may seem uncaring. Instead I think the Lord has blessed me with the strength and grace I have so desperately prayed for. I do worry about how this will children. We are trying to keep everything as normal for them as we can. In some ways I think it is more natural to die at home instead of a hospital. Death is a natural part of life and
we all must go through it.