Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Keep Calm And Carry On

I'm not going to lie and say there weren't a few days last week that I wasn't a complete mess. Plus, I had a horrible cold and couldn't go see my Mom in the hospital for fear of making her even sicker. I spent too much money on FTD and sent her flowers/food since I couldn't visit. She's home now. (FTD btw has lousy service. I will go local next time.)

Hubby worked from home with the kiddos here so I could go by myself to see her on Monday. We worked a little on cleaning up some clutter in her room. She's wanting to declutter now if case the worst case scenario happens and my brothers and I are left me with a whole house to clean up. I took two bags of clothes to the Goodwill. The kids and I are going to stay with her soon and do some more work. We find out on Friday what her prognosis and possible treatment plan will be.
I'm praying for the best possible outcome but she's already assumed she's dying. This isn't her first bout with cancer as she was a DES baby and went thru radiation when I was two. I'm struggling with the idea of being an orphan even though I'm 38. Maybe it would be easier if I weren't so close to my Mom. Also, I worry about how my two older brothers will take her death. Neither one have families of their own.
Anyway, life has been full of stress here. Hubby's work travel just picked up quite a bit so I can only lean on him so much for support.
I can't say I've been doing much in the way of frugality. I just don't care right now. The kids and I are happy to spend our days vegging around the house and doing bit of work here and there. They've been really good kids lately and have been really great to be around.
I took this picture this morning as they did their worksheets. I only make them do about 45 minutes worth of work every morning so they haven't been too whiny. I love hearing their little pencils scratch across the page.

I've decided that worrying about what's going to happen is pointless. I need to worry about what's going on today and take of care what needs to be taken care of right now. It's all out of my control anyway. So, I'll make my kids some cookies and I'll check out that book that I've been wanting to read from the library. God knows what's going on and has a plan for us. I've got to surrender.

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