Sunday, April 15, 2012

Exhausted, Sad and Lost is No Way To Go Through Life Son

Mom passed early this morning. I feel very strange and exhausted.

Her last few days were awful. I am relieved that it's over. But, now the hard part of learning how to live without my Mom or any parents for that matter is scary. A strange part of me feels like now that we've gone through this awfulness my Mom can come back and be whole again. Like when you do a hard chore and get to reap the benefits. But sometimes things are just awful and they stay awful. Oh, I know she's looking down on me from heaven and is at peace but its not the same as having her here.

Learning how to live without my Mom is going to be a daily challenge. And I am just so tired right now.


Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Your family will be in our prayers

Heather said...

I'm so sorry you are going through this! My condolences to you and your family as you walk this very difficult path. Please be gentle with yourself and each other...grief is a hard thing and everyone does it different and it pops up at the oddest times in the oddest ways. After we lost my sister we would find ourselves bawling at odd times (like 5 years later when I went to look at wedding rings with my now husband) and laughing hysterically at odder times (like a week or so after the funeral when we got into an odd theological discussion related to her death and just cracked up even though it wasn't a funny topic). Get some rest when you can and just keep on keeping on the best you can.

I'll be saying some prayers for you all,

Heather said...

Losing a parent is one of the most painful experiences you can endure. My husband is still struggling a lot with the loss of his Dad - he has good days and bad days. I think he will just need time to heal, and so will you. In the meantime, take good care of yourself, and try to rest when you can. We're keeping all of you guys in our daily prayers.

lizzie said...

How wonderful you made her last days and you were young enough to do all that.
My mother died last year; I am 70 and she was 96 - very, very hard. I had to take care of her and my own health problems.
You had a good relationship with her and that will sustain you in the future.
God bless.