Thursday, December 4, 2008

Feeling Sluggish This Season.

Usually, I'm raring to go and wrapping presents as soon as I get them. So far I've only wrapped two. And I'm not even done shopping yet- I think. I'm so lazy this year that I haven't even made a list of what I have and what I don't have purchased. And of course, I'm finding that last minute token gifts to teachers, kid friends, co-workers, and babysitters have been forgotten on my shopping list.

It's not that I don't love this holiday season. I do relish it. But, the hassle and obligation that seem to go with it are annoying. In some ways I almost wish I had budgetary reasons to "just send a nice card." The recession hasn't seemed to touch us yet although I am almost sure it eventually will.

Last night I found a few antique ornaments that I brought from my Grandma's house after her death. As I hung them on the tree, my heart felt so heavy and sad. I know it will pass and a in a few years those same ornaments will be bittersweet and nostalgia inspiring. But, right now I just want a simpler Christmas with less stress and more thoughtfulness. I haven't yet figured out how to get off of the obligation gift treadmill. Even though my gifts are often cost efficient, I can't help but wonder if some part of it is a hand me down from affluenza driven shopping.
Who am I making happy but enlarging my shopping list?

I'm over thinking it I know. And I do get joy out of giving small presents. This morning though I'm just feeling overwhelmed and glum.

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