It's a Journey, Not a Destination

I feel like I've forgotten my frugality lately.   I'm not much of an example for those who are new to saving money.

My husband is making decent money now.  My Mom left me with some inheritance that will help us pay off our mortgage.  Money just isn't that much of an issue lately because we've become lazy and comfortable.  I've bought more stuff online in the past year than I ever have before.  I think it's because of my deep sadness over my Mom's death and also to enjoy spending freely in a manner that I never have been able to before.  Those boxes of goodies that show up on my porch give me about five minutes of real happiness.   And then it fades.  It doesn't matter that I used coupon codes and got money back.  The happiness is temporary.  The stuff is just stuff.  And the money is used up. 


 My goal is to have a paid off mortgage, money saved for the kid's college fund, and a tidy pile saved for retirement.  We haven't accomplished that yet.   I need to remember that. 

I don't need new stuff to make me happy.  Today I am wearing a sweater that I bought at a New Orleans thrift store in 2001.   It makes me happy in a way that a new sweater can't.  This morning I ate a slice of scratch pumpkin pie made from last year's jack o' lanterns.  It was way better than any store bought pie. 

Frugality may not be as fun or as easy as spending money on new stuff.  But, it is way more satisfying. 

I'm Going Through Some Stuff.

I've got a running tally in my head of all the stuff I need to get done before we have company. I've been preoccupied.
Also, I've been addicted to catching up with the tv series Bones. I just started the 6th season. I don't know why I find it so refreshing. Probably because it's not a fluffy show and it's also not completely dark and depressing. It rides that line. And also I enjoy the quirky characters.

I have been practicing the exact opposite of frugality lately. I splurged on a new fall wardrobe and bought two new pairs of jeans, some accessories, and a few shirts. Even with coupons, I spent over $200. I also splurged on new make up, cat litter stuff for our behavioral peeing problem and some Christmas presents for the kids. No worries though. My credit card bill has been paid.

This past weekend was my 2oth high school reunion. I chose not to go and doing so has left me both relieved and sad. Almost everyone that I would actually care to see did not attend so I don't think I missed much. But, having grown up in a fairly small town with the same people and having the burden of my memories, I feel like I missed out. I can vividly recall what a lot of those people looked like with missing front teeth and Rainbow Brite and Hulk t-shirts. In a way I feel like I should have paid homage to that. So, in spite of the new infuriating changes Facebook has made I will keep my profile. It's a small way of keeping them a part of me.

Tomorrow is my 39th birthday. I don't know how I got here so fast. I still feel like a teenager so much. And yet I can totally see myself as a grumpy old lady on the front porch yelling at the whipper snappers. I have one more year before I know I will be a total old lady. My apologies to anyone over 40. I'm sure I'll feel differently once I pass that hurdle. Right now I'm fighting it tooth and nail.

And now onto that pile in the hallway that I've been ignoring for months. Yes, months.

Today I Bought Clothes

Way back in May (before the clothing compact) I earned $25 Gymboree Gymbucks redeemable this week. So, I took my opportunity to shop for the kiddos and scoured the online clearance items.

I bought:
3 summer shirts for Big Girl (will fit her next summer)
2 shirts for my nieces (part of their Christmas)
3 hair ornaments (one for each girl)
A pair of shorts for Big Girl (saving for back to school)
A ringer tshirt for Little Guy
1 pair of undies for Little Guy

Total after Gymbucks- $32.71


I still have $10 in Old Navy rewards to use up. I'm hoping to get some socks for my nieces to go with their other Christmas items.
Now back to the compact.

My Not-So Guilty Splurge

Hubby told me I had to blog about spending $95 at a friend's Tastefully Simple party last night.

Yeah, I spent too much. Part of it is for Birthday and Christmas presents. Most of it was purchased because that stuff tastes so dang good.

5 dip mixes
3 beer bread mixes
1 chai drink mix
3 potato cheddar soups
1 seasoned salt.

Yep, that stuff is pricey. I plan on gifting and indulging and then making do with homemade mixes when it is all gone. I'm wondering why my own homemade beer bread is always dense and hard and the Tastefully Simple mix is light and fluffy. I would love to make a scratch version of that bread. It was great! I like the almond pound cake too but I was less thrilled with the sweet dips and breads because they just didn't have that great spicy tang to them. I can make yummy sweet stuff from scratch.

My not-so frugal side

When I think of buying new furniture my mind goes to pressed wood and shiny oaky veneers. I dream about antique bedroom sets from the 20s and 40s. With a king sized bed and the options we want like lots of storage that just isn't going to happen. So, we've been shopping here and there in retail furniture outlets for awhile and haven't been impressed.

But, Hubby and I fell in love with this furniture collection. Let me just say that it looks even better in real life. You can't really see the details. And I'm a sucker for details. Our bed will be similar but will have a storage option on the side. Hubby is tall and can't stand a foot board. I don't know what other pieces we will get to go along with it but I think two dressers and two night stands.

Here's a look.

Gotta get going. Lots to do today.

Diamond (Accents) Are a Girl's Best Friend

This ring is what I bought with my Christmas money from my Mom. It was originally $229 but I got it on sale for $90.99 with free shipping. I've been wanting one of these for awhile and I feel no guilt whatsoever on spending my Christmas money on something frivolous because that's what it's for.

Pantry Challenge Day Six

The main problem with trying to use up the food in our house is that I'm having a hard time keeping up with all the dishes. My hands are so dry.
I splurged on a bottle of Fairy dish liquid at the ethnic grocery store so I feel a little pampered while I do a dreaded chore. There's nothing particularly special about this British dish soap. I may as well be using Palmolive. In fact, I might refill the bottle with it.

And also, I made an out loud Christmas wish that I could have a small tv in the kitchen to keep my mind occupied while I did boring chores like chopping veggies or washing baggies. Hubby delivered and I've been happily watching cooking shows on PBS while I drudge away.

Pumpkin was suggested as a high fiber food item for our sick kitty. She turned her nose up to it so I had a mostly full can of pumpkin to use up. Weight Watchers muffins to the rescue. They are baking now. Big Girl requested one in her lunch box tomorrow.


Breakfast- Veg. Bacon and pumpkin muffin, milk and cocoa
Lunch- Cheese and crackers, soup, apple juice
Dinner- Revision Instead of the Pot pie made with leftover roast, side of frozen veg I had planned we're having Crockpot Falafel. Our pitas are getting old and I have all the food in the pantry for this dinner.

Purging and Splurging

I spent the holiday weekend with the house to myself cleaning out the kids room and closets.
I inventoried all shoes and underwear that I have been stockpiling. And I have a good idea of what we need to buy. The stack of garage sale items is growing steadily and soon I will have enough to make it worth my time.

I had a Dillards $45 gift card in my wallet so I made my yearly (dreaded) trip to the mall to scour their clearance racks. Big Girl now has new Levis and dress pants as well as a few new hair bows. Little Guy got a few outfits and a new t-shirt. After all of that I spent $13 OOP.

Today we went to Barnes and Noble for a breakfast of oatmeal cookies and milk and playtime with the Thomas train set. I ended up buying "Puff the Magic Dragon" for them. It was a childhood favorite of mine.

Then we went next door to Old Navy to do some more school shopping. The clearance selection is pretty decent right now especially on any 4th of July goods. I bought a new hoodie jacket, a polo, atheltic pants, flip flops for next summer and two sets of pajamas for Little Guy. Big Girl got a new l/s polo, yoga pants, and jean capris. They both wanted new soccer balls which happened to be on clearance too. I spent $65. I've got shopping out of my system for a long time. Tomorrow is garage sale day and I am happily going to skip it.

I stimulated the economy a little today.

Yesterday I bemoaned that we only have four cloth diaper covers that fit the boy. And they are -not- leak proof.
This morning I remembered that I had a $5 gift card to K-Mart from some past promotion. So, I went to the Gerber web page and printed off a coupon for more diaper covers. One two pack was 7.49. Ouch! We just got one package.
While there I noticed the racks of clearance clothing and Little Guy found a Handy Manny pant set. It was $4.99.
And then I remembered that my friends son turns 3 next week and I hadn't bought him anything yet. I spent $15 on Thomas trains.

I might take back the pants set.

I'm torn. Right now Hubby still has his job firmly in place but so many are losing their jobs left and right. And our bank account has taken a large hit with the new car purchase. But, I feel guilty for both spending and not spending in this economy when we can technically "afford" it.
I realize that spending $20 at K-Mart is not going to keep the economy moving forward or even save that one store. So, why do I feel guilty?

A reason to be frugal

When I look in my closet I see clothes from Goodwill, yard sales, and super clearance racks. And I'm okay with that.

It makes splurging on beautiful handmade items even more enjoyable.

I just bought this gorgeous knit scarf from my friend Paige at Lenox Knits. I can't wait to get it in the mail!

When did this happen?

My husband is a born and bred economizer. And yet he almost pleaded with me to turn the a/c back on today since it's going to be 85 degrees. I reluctantly agreed. When did we switch places?

Back to work- I've got clothes to drag in from our verboten laundry line.

Not Frugal But a Worthy Splurge

I love candles.

Amy's Country Candles makes my favorite candle ever - Vanilla Sugar Cookie. I found them while visiting Louisiana's Laura Plantation gift shop in 2001.

The smell is intoxicating without being overwhelming. The candles last a long time too.

And when I'm feeling blue....

Not wanting to cry in my beer (or tap water) but lately life has gotten me down. And nothing cheers me up like new beauty products in my mailbox.

I bought some Lancome moisturizer ($35!!) that I really like. I am neither out of moisturizer or unable to use something from Wal-Mart but, I like Lancome. Ridiculously expensive Lancome.

Free Shipping on orders of $35 + Free gift with Code DRALSTER. Plus you get four samples and when you sign up for their emails you always get a sample of something when you purchase anyway.

A lot of my samples will go in my Mom's birthday baggie- but I'm keeping the moisturizer.

And I don't even feel guilty.... much.

Hitting the Pause button

I'm not whining. Really. I woke up this morning with a slight cold. I don't feel awful. I just feel s-l-o-w, docile, and snotty.

I reluctantly re-rsvp'd no to the local Mom's Group for bowling tonight. I was so looking forward to it. After a major guilt tripping from the 5 year old about me going someplace without her I realized that I almost never do things without the kids in tow. And when I do it's for short jaunts to the grocery store while their dad watches them. I am in desperate need of a minute away. But, not tonight.
And right now- that feels ok.

I've been salivating over Gymboree on ebay. With the prices on Ebay I might as well go to an outlet or shop the sales online and buy new. That kind of thinking made me run for my computer as I found a Gymboree coupon code for 20% off in a magazine this morning. (28678461295- until May 31st) I filled up my cart with tees for the boy and summer dresses and hair bows for the girl. And then promptly decided that I'd better sit on it. After all, wasn't my husband just telling me not to buy the kids anymore clothes? Didn't I just survey their closets and ascertain that their wardrobe needs were minimal? Oh, those clothes are so cute. Especially that Monkey shirt. Want vs. need. I'm going to go empty my cart.
Sigh.
photo taken from gymboree.com.

I paid full price

That's right. I handed over a whole three dollars for this vintage beauty at Goodwill. I couldn't resist. These burgundy tapestry lovers were calling to me. And it's just the right size to tuck in a diaper and a coupon wallet.

Frugal Burnout Bandwagon

Since Meredith and everyone else seems to be talking about this, I think I'll join in on the discussion.

Since the beginning of the year my only real resolution has been not to purchase any more personal care items. Despite a lack of time to do my nails or fix my hair up I still love those bottles of fancy lotion, a good lipgloss, and new hairspray. I love it so much that I have a huge collection of beauty and personal care products clogging up valuable space in our bathroom. But, it's hard for me to get excited about using products that I have lying around when there are all these deals/freebies for new lipsticks and lotions and potions. I have made a concerted effort to delete those emails from Clinique and Lancome that give me free shipping with an extra bag of goodies. I have a major weakness for nice cosmetics so I wince whenever I see what I am passing up. I also haven't been clipping coupons for any personal care items either so I'm not tempted to buy. Clipping and sorting coupons is a lot faster now too.


I find that it's easier for me to be frugal most of the time when I allow myself small extravagances some of the time. A small cafe mocha from Starbucks once a month or a new sale book from Barnes and Noble can really take the edge off of the frugality lifestyle once in a while for me.

If you're buying it anyway- Unisex Clothes for Kids

As soon as I found out that I was having a boy I started saving Big Girls generic clothing for her little brother. I consciously try to buy pieces that I know can be passed on to her brother without looking too boyish. It's easy to do this with t-shirts, socks, sweat pants, and turtlenecks.

I will spend more money on quality pieces of clothing if they can be used for either sex. I have the storage space so I don't mind saving a shirt for two or three years until it's the right size. So, those turtlenecks from Talbots that I just ordered will be well worn by the time they reach the donation bag. I just redeemed a gift card that I ordered with my discover card bonus. Out of pocket costs were $8.00 after shipping and taxes (no applicable coupon codes- darn).
But, I don't mind that for good quality clothes that both of my children will wear.

The Urge to Splurge-- Christmas picture Gotcha

You know how when you go to pick up your portraits and the clerk then lays out the photos that you didn't purchase and tries to sell them to you? Well, I almost never fall for that. And today I almost got away clean- until she lowered the price by five dollars and threw in a photo ornament. This was the first time we attempted a whole family portrait too. And I didn't buy any since both of the kids were looking in opposite directions and I look a little squashed and perturbed.

But, when I looked at them again I thought, "Well, those aren't so bad."

So, I'm twenty dollars lighter, I have a family picture, and I don't have to fuss over whether to send Aunt Susie or friend Sally a picture. Everyone is getting a picture this year since I have pictures aplenty.

Do I feel my customary frugal guilt? Surprisingly, not one bit. And now I don't have to buy an ornament for this years Christmas picture.


Now back to my regularly scheduled programming. The In-Laws are coming tomorrow and I've loads of chores to do.

Hair Bows and such

Well, I _had_ planned on making my own hair bows for Big Girl since I had acquired a box full of ribbon (.50 garage sale) a few months. There is a distinct lack of neutral colors in her bow collection so I've really been wanting to make some tan, brown, and black bows. But, I've never gotten around to it and quite frankly I'm lazy about crafting. So, today I made my first Etsy purchase from LiliBug Boutique. This is one of the hair bows I ordered.



Isn't it darling? I'll be sad when she outgrows the hair bow age.



I got the idea to hang her hair bow collection on a ribbon belt from Meredith (Like Merchant Ships. I bought this little belt for .40 cents at Goodwill. I think I'm going to have to replace it with a longer one since we're out of room. Or I can just cull the seldom worn ones and send them to a friend with a toddler girl.

The Allure of the 'nice grocery store'

Today I made the executive (mistake) decision to go to the convenient yet pricey local grocery store (Dierbergs for those of you in the St. Louis area).

Oh, the aisles are wide. The store is brightly lit with a beautiful array of pleasing fruit and vegetable bins nicely decorated with fall foliage. And oh, the exotic variety of goods. It's the store that I would think about shopping at if money were no object (until I decided that just because I have extra money doesn't mean that I need to spend it stupidly.)

I hadn't been there in months. I had forgotten how nice it is to be able to buy stamps, vegetarian food products, and milk in one store. I was tickled that my Big Girl was looking for empty boxes to help me 'bag up' afterwards. I had to tell her that at this grocery store they give you bags free and even bag it for you. She looked at me like I was talking another language and with a shrug of disappointment put her proffered box away.

I wandered the aisles a bit looking (drooling) at the fancy bottles and labels and goodies slathering a bit especially in the spice aisle. They had those cute little tins of Watkins. I was so tempted but the only spice I needed was savory. It had been alluding me for months, this single spice. But, I found one bottle of McCormick's in the overpriced glass bottle with the light green lid. I very begrudgingly paid 5.49 for this little bottle because I knew I'd spend more on shipping just to order it cheaper online. Tell, what makes the glass bottles of seasoning more expensive?


But, in the end, even though I spent a lot more than I usually do on my few items- it was worth it. I eliminated a trip to the post office. I didn't have to bag my food. I stocked up on veggie meat that my normal (not discount) grocer doesn't carry and I got two free cookies from the bakery to quiet my whining children. Of course, I begged the bakery girl to re-stock the free cookie tin. But, she did.
Those are the things that make the pricey grocery nice. Once in a while anyway.